Sexism Hypocrisy #201
As much as I have been trying to avoid politics, its hard to miss all the uproar over comments Donald Trump made several years. Trump is just the latest in a long line of prominent males getting eviscerated by the media over what the media considers to be “sexist comments”. I haven’t listened to what he said; its not important. This post is not about politics, its about sexism hypocrisy.
I was at my son’s middle school football game today, and at halftime, I was surprised when the opposing team cheerleaders did a dance routine. This is not pro, college, or even high school on Friday nights; its a 4:30 pm Wednesday middle school football game. But hey, doing a dance routine is fine in of itself; just haven’t seen a middle school do it before.
What amazed me about it was the song they played over the loudspeakers. I’m not current on the pop culture music scene, so I don’t know the artist. It sounded a bit like Ludicris, but I don’t know it was him for sure.
My point to this whole rambling (if you have the patience to read further), is that the lyrics on this song included such lines as “going to take off all your clothes”, “going to do you all night”, “grind it baby” … you get the point. It was a very explicit sexual song being played at halftime of a middle school football game! That was wrong all by itself, and the school should be disciplined.
But here is where the real hypocrisy starts. On the field were a bunch of 12-14 year old girls, dancing in tight outfits, all the while an explicit sex song is being played loudly. And, how many of the 12-14 year old boys in the stands were watching? This is a clear example of teaching boys at an early age that girls are primarily sex objects, and girls are being taught openly to be sex objects. I’m not sure I was more distraught by what what happening on the field, or the fact that, when I looked around at the other adults, the woman I was with and myself were the only adults appalled at it all.
So after years of this value being taught to both boys and girls, when adult men treat women like they are sex objects by their actions (whether its “locker room talk”, sleeping around, trading up for younger women in middle age, not respecting them as fellow workers, and in the extreme, sexual abuse and rape), we act surprised and outraged as a culture. Really? Sorry, but you reap what you sow, and women are as much of the problem as the men with teaching the right values.
A common response is always “nothing justifies rape” and “you can’t blame the victim”. Of course, nothing justifies rape, but rape is the worst extreme of treating women as sex objects. There are “50 shades of sexism”, and ALL of them, up to and including rape, are the products of men being taught that the most important way to look at a woman is as a sex object. And if you train “most” of the boys to become men that view women exclusively as sex objects, then over time, while some percentage of those men will only turn in to “pigs” that talk down to women, some percentage of those men will do worse, up to and including rape.
So yes, the mom’s of the girls volleyball team who got mad at the coach because he wouldn’t order the new uniforms that were skin tight and had the school name printed on the girls butts? Those mom’s are contributing to the culture that creates men that demean, disrespect, and sometimes abuse and rape women. (FYI, that is a true story; the coach told me himself how much grief he was catching from the parents about not buying the new trendy uniforms that drew all eyes to the girls butts).
And in today’s case, all parties involved in allowing that sexually explicit music to be played while 12-14 year old girls were dancing in front of a crowd are just as bad.
Stopping sexist behavior comes from one source ONLY: teaching the right values. If you teach the wrong values, then you can have all the sexual harassment training, billboards, NFL ribbons, public speeches, and draconian legal penalties in the world, and it won’t change the behavior.